Dominating - Ruling - Prevailing Responsibilities of the Dominant Being a Dominant or submissive is a personal choice and a state of mind. It is not a sex act, not a role, and not a game. It is a state of being and it is a sexual (neither male or female). First and foremost, A Dominant is always a Gentleman and will conduct himself with Honor and display respect to others. There is no excuse for being rude and impolite to others. (Save for the submissive that needs and requires this of their Dominants during a scene.) A Dominant must always maintain self-control before He can be in control of another. Drugs, even alcohol, are mind and body altering or controlling agents. They will adversely affect relationships, and more closely to home, a scene by affecting and impairing the judgment, concentration and control a Dominant must be able to maintain. A Dominant must always be honest with Himself and others. To lie to a submissive is to show that you cannot be trusted. A submissive must be able to trust the Dominant before she can respect the Dominant. There can be no submission if there is no respect. The submissive (should) understand that not every Dominant is super experienced and will respect the Dominant much more if they are truthful about their experience. (Dominants knowing their limitations and being honest with themselves and their submissive.) Many submissive will even help the Dominant to gain the experience. Tell the submissive up front what your expectations of the relationship entail (For example; If you do or do not want a monogamous relationship). Most submissive will expect this form of honesty from a Dominant. (The Dominant may not win the favor of that particular submissive that may disagree with what is disclosed, but He will not loose her respect by being truthful either.) A Dominant accepts responsibility for ALL of their actions. Everyone makes mistakes even the Dominant. Do what is needed to make amends and correct it, but accept and admit to the error. To seek an excuse, deny or ignore the error shows weakness and or coward ness and will cause you to lose respect as a Dominant. A Dominant must be in control of his emotions. Calm is a sign of confidence. Understanding is a sign of compassion and knowledge. Anger is a weakness and a sign of limited self-control. There is a time and place for everything and the Dominant must be aware of this. NEVER attempt to punish a submissive in anger! Never confuse discipline with punishment! The Dominant must remember that submission is a gift offered to him by the submissive. To act in anger is to abuse the trust the submissive has in the Dominant. Know the difference between Dominant and Domineering (To rule in a harsh or arrogant way)! Arrogance is not a trait of a true Dominant. It is the duty and responsibility of the Dominant to watch over and protect all submissive. (This does not mean to protect them from finding another and trying to keep them to oneself). A Dominant will only take those submissive that match the Dominants needs and desires. A submissive that is not into whips and heavy bondage should not belong to a Dominant that seeks these qualities in a submissive. It is the responsibility of the Dominant to ensure that submissive are guided to the proper partner for the submissive. It is the duty and responsibility of the Dominant to watch the scene carefully to ensure that the submissive is not being harmed Mentally, physically or emotionally. At any time, the slightest thing can go wrong and the scene be ruined and the submissive pleasures becomes real pain. It is the duty and responsibility of the Dominant after a scene to ensure the submissive is emotionally stable. During a scene, the submissive is filled with hormones (endorphins). Afterwards, the body reduces these hormones back to normal levels. This reduction can cause SEVERE DEPRESSION to the point of the submissive becoming SUICIDAL. The submissive must be made to understand the depression and that the emotional release is expected and normal emotions will return within hours to a day. Anything longer is a sign that the submissive may be suffering from emotional instability. This must be treated and corrected before doing another scene. Failure to do so may permanently harm the submissive emotionally and mentally. *NOTE* (A DOMINANT CAN ALSO EXPERIENCE THIS DEPRESSION AFTER A SCENE AS WELL.) It is the duty and responsibility of the Dominant to educate the submissive and provide information about this lifestyle. Ensuring the submissive knows and understands her rights; her hard limits, soft limits, what is abuse, and when a relationship is over stepping the boundaries of the Dominant and submissive lifestyle. Showing them where and how to get information on this lifestyle best does this. To allow a submissive to be abused or actually harmed in anyway is dishonorable and criminal. For a Dominant to allow any of the submissive rights to be violated is also dishonorable and unacceptable. It is the duty and responsibility of the Dominant to ensure that the submissive grows and develops under their leadership in not only the Dominant and submissive lifestyle, but also in her individuality, mental, physical, spiritual being, public, professional, and family life as well. For a Dominant to play with a submissive and then discard them for there amusement is abuse (unless this is what the submissive has stated as there need) and is emotionally, physically, and psychologically demanding to the submissive and is dishonorable. Unless a submissive of another Dominant has declared them to be un-owned, to interfere with that relationship is dishonorable. To chase after or scene with another’s submissive, without the submissive Dominants full awareness and permission, is dishonorable. No Dominant can live up to these standards 100% of the time (Dominants are human too). But the submissive and other Dominants will respect the ones that do try too, and the harder you try, the more respect and admiration the Dominant will receive. But, more than this, is that the joy and personal satisfaction of the Dominant and submissive lifestyle will be enhanced to the fullest capabilities. email any comments or suggestions please